if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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