I wish I only lived at night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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