drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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