tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am one with the molecules
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
