Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
