Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
