Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You did what with his pubic hair?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
