went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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