Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
