I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dignity is for republicans.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
