Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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