A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i can't believe i had my finger in that
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
