i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
