She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
