careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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