I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
