you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
