so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize