the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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