Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
