So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
