You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
