forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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