He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
