Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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