I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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