She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize