he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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