Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
