literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
