guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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