Michael Bay diarrhea
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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