Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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