this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
