i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
