you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
