i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
