I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
