guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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