Plan B is the new Plan A
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
