The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
that's an acceptable place to lick
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
