I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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