check it out our google latitudes are spooning
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
