Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think a kid would responsible me up
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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