Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
