Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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