D3 body, D1 cock
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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