Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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