it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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