Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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