I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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