Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
