Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
