i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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