WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just blew my weed a kiss
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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