Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
